This and That

This is my gun
That is your mouth
Blowing smoke away

This is no home
That is too proud
To wish us away

These are rainy days
Those which fade away
Will never breathe the truth

These will never say
Those who choose to stay
Will rot away in youth

This is an end
That is too soon
Praying for today

This is my gun
That is your mouth
Blowing smoke away

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The Snow

Sometimes I wonder if I’m still there.
If my memory haunts you
In the snow.
Like an old abandoned house
With a dusty box of letters,
Photographs and broken memories
Sitting by the stairs.

And when I think and think
I think too much, it makes me weak
I crumble to the ground and on my knees
I shed a single tear for memories I know
Are dying.

Am I still living?
Do you know that I’m awake
Or does the past only make
You run further away?

I know you filter out the snow.
The dreams of yesterday
When you mark down on your calendar
News plans penned today

You have the things you always said
That you wanted.
No, needed.
You have the things you thought
Would make you smile.

So are you happy?
Or was it something that you
Already had that you took for granted
Now gone forever

Someday an old lady
Will bring me back to life
Through pictures in her head
And warmth felt long ago

She will crumble to the ground on her knees
And shed a single tear for memories she killed
And know that she stomped a dream.

So I’m alive
Even if only for a moment
In the regrets of a tattered old woman
Whose heart never knew again
The true love she abandoned
In the snow.

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Kick these blues away

Sometimes I get the feeling
In the back of my head
That just won’t shake,
I just can’t make
This sense of dread
Keep me from reeling.

News that I am no longer
The same person I worked to be.
In my head I’m all alone,
In my heart I have no home
And if I can’t fake sympathy
Just consider me a goner.

Tomorrow seems so far away
When all I do is dream.
So here I sit with poetry
Casting shadows over me
All I do is write, it seems,
But I never find the words to say

To kick these blues away today.

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Unemployment

Unemployment
Brings me down
Turns me grey
Makes every decision I make
Seem like one elaborate mistake
And all I want to do is hide

Having no cash
Lots of time
Just to think
Who am I and where will I
Find the will to reach and try
To face rejection every time

Unemployment
Won’t define
What my mind
Considers to be me
Confident identity
Tomorrow when I wake up I’ll see

Unemployment isn’t me.

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Lonely souls

Heart beat
Eyes blink
A ringing in the soul
Cold feet
Softly
Whisper all alone

Friday
I may
Change my world again
Nothing
Can bring
A smile to lonely souls

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Wind chimes in the morning

Wind chimes in the morning,
My room fills with light.
I take a deep breath,
Early morning sigh.

I’m not really awake,
I don’t feel alive,
Until the water on my face
Brings me back to life.

Traffic in the afternoon,
This blurry, shifting place.
I gaze into the sky and dream,
I wish that I were fake.

I sit behind the wheel,
But I am really somewhere else.
I am in a world of love,
That I will never tell.

TV in the evening,
A dull and dreadful buzz
Pushing me to longingly
Wish I never was.

The long walk out to sleep,
A losing proposition–you
want to stop the commotion
In your head, but listen–to

Wind chimes in the morning,
Someday I will see
Nothing ever changes and
I will never sleep.

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Singing the Blues

I tell
Myself
I lost it all,
Dropped the ball.
So I don’t get
Emptiness
Taking
Everything away from me

I
Might be afraid
To die
That ain’t gonna make
My life
Worth any less.
And I’ll
Be singing the blues
For you.

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