Tag Archives: insanity

The grind of life

Sometimes it takes years to realize,
Sometimes it can pass us by.
This is the end of everything.
This is the grind of life.

I wave goodbye, I say goodnight
I kiss you on the forehead.
My life’s a dream, you are a ghost,
The world, confined to my bed.

Insanity, reality,
It’s all really the same.
I drove you, and you drove me,
Who’s to say what is or not insane?

Sometimes it takes years to realize,
Sometimes it can pass us by.
This is the end of everything.
This is the grind of life.

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Laura

My conscience disappeared
for perhaps a few years.
I never meant to hurt you,
but I never knew
what she would want me to do.

She was sick, I told myself
she would never be well
again, this is what took her home,
through pearly gates all her own.
I thought she was leaving me alone.

But the evidence on the screen
punishes and reminds me
that the monsters in my head,
these monsters I so dread,
were born inside her lifeless bed.

I clutched the pillow case
and pressed hard against her face.
I told myself I love her
I told myself there’s no cure.
Nothing but hollow words.

Laura, the sickness killed her.
Her cancer:
Me.
Laura, the sickness killed me.
My cancer:
Infidelity.
Laura, mental sickness
got the best of me.

My sickness used hers
as a means to an end.

Laura, I never knew you well.
Laura, I’m heading for hell.
You tell me this for making a
heartbeat slowly fade away.
I can’t erase yesterday.

And as you run and scream and cry,
I slowly start realizing why
I never felt the pain before
I never opened up the door
I never thought about her more.

You were a figment from a dream,
and I had to hear your scream
to remind me of my evil past.
Things moved too fast.
Shattered glass.

I wake up and try to slowly walk
away from this malevolent mock-
reality that’s causing me
to lose touch with what’s really
me–here and there and nobody.

You have no reason to believe me
when I tell you I am sorry, Laura.
But just know that if I had it all to do again,
I’d want Mary’s last breath to be in my arms
and not beneath my clenched fists.

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Insanity

Sometimes I feel like I’m not me,
like there’s someone else inside of me.
Sometimes I fell like I should be
somewhere else, so lonely.

There’s not enough time for me to
–explain.
How I feel my love for you could be
–in vain.
I wish your love could heal me and stop
–this pain.

Sometimes I feel like you hate me,
you do your best to use and abuse me.
Sometimes I feel like you should be
somewhere else, so lonely.

Don’t smile at me that way
–girl.
You took from me, I gave you
–the world.
It seems your love is the only
–cure.

Insanity is no fun
at all.
Growing up to be the man
I feared I’d always be,
living with
insanity.
My mental disease
contracted from
direct contact with you

Sometimes I want to say goodbye,
let these thoughts and feelings die.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why
I never can say goodbye.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not me.
There is someone else inside of me.
Sometimes I feel like I should be
somewhere else, so lonely.
Insanity.

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Gone

My friend,
who’s an illusion.
My life,
trapped in confusion.
No one’s here.
Gone.

My friend,
just an illusion.
My life,
always losing
confidence.
Gone.

My friend,
you’re an illusion.
My life,
never choosing.
Unread script.
Gone.

My friend
is an illusion.
My life,
needing solution.
Everything,
gone.

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