Tag Archives: loneliness

Dust in dreams

The leaves sticking
To the bottom of my shoes
The sun fading, the sky
Pink, orange, gray, black
I close my eyes
And for a minute, I am slipping
All my weary blues
Pink, orange, gray, black
Turn to dust in dreams

My head, hurting
As I am walking alone
The river sings a song
My reflection, black
It seems to long
For days long gone, or perhaps emerging
But my mind is sewn
My reflection, black
Turns to dust in dreams

But when I walk home
Still on my own
I know nothing is as it seems
Everything I’ve known
Standing alone
Turns to dust in dreams

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under poems

Kick these blues away

Sometimes I get the feeling
In the back of my head
That just won’t shake,
I just can’t make
This sense of dread
Keep me from reeling.

News that I am no longer
The same person I worked to be.
In my head I’m all alone,
In my heart I have no home
And if I can’t fake sympathy
Just consider me a goner.

Tomorrow seems so far away
When all I do is dream.
So here I sit with poetry
Casting shadows over me
All I do is write, it seems,
But I never find the words to say

To kick these blues away today.

1 Comment

Filed under poems

Being Sad

Being sad
Doesn’t have to be
The worst thing in the world.
If other people see me
And they know me
And feel the need to show me
I should smile,
It shouldn’t make me mad.

Being sad
Sometimes is needed,
Feeling so defeated
Makes victory taste
Sweeter tomorrow.

Being sad
Feels awful when
There isn’t any end
In sight, and you stay awake
All night, and you wonder what makes
Your life turn around.

Being sad
Is temporary,
As most emotions tend to be.
So I tell myself,
I will be well,
And don’t feel so bad
About being sad
Today.

Leave a comment

Filed under poems

Aokigahara

Calm,
in a circle of trees.
Quiet,
surrounded by dreams.
Loneliness,
a two-tone drone.

Walk,
bodies dangle–
–like leaves.
I close my eyes
and wish for freedom.

Stop,
a whisk of air,
the wind sighs
the last breath
of an evening,
of a life.

When the sun arrives,
I will be back
in my bed.
Far away
from the forest
in my head.

Leave a comment

Filed under poems

Driving home

I step over cracks on the sidewalk,
walking briskly to my car.
The air is cooler, thinner,
refreshing for the soul.
I notice a puddle in the gravel,
full of yesterday’s mysteries.
Children are racing in the street
on bicycles that look as though
they were just bought today.

The jingle of my keys
swinging through my pockets,
a sound so often overlooked
stands out even more than the stain
of orange juice on my pants.
Yesterday I had no time
to fix the small mistakes.
This morning I had no time
to change anything about
who I am.

Today is going to be different,
I can feel it in the cool air.
I pull my keys out, and reach for the door.
I’m standing over the world
like an idle god, a frozen idol.
An ideal dream.
I stand alone in perfection,
if only in my mind.

The engine hums a familiar rhythm,
a song to send me away.
Clouds hide the sun from my eyes.
Left hand grabs the steering wheel
right hand on the gear shift.
I pause, realizing
the radio was playing a song–
a song that had some meaning
to a life lived long ago.

I think of you for a moment,
and though I sigh at first,
I grin as I remember
the fool I was before.
And I cannot hide my smile
when I think of the man
I will become–
stronger,
because I drove home.

3 Comments

Filed under poems

Insanity

Sometimes I feel like I’m not me,
like there’s someone else inside of me.
Sometimes I fell like I should be
somewhere else, so lonely.

There’s not enough time for me to
–explain.
How I feel my love for you could be
–in vain.
I wish your love could heal me and stop
–this pain.

Sometimes I feel like you hate me,
you do your best to use and abuse me.
Sometimes I feel like you should be
somewhere else, so lonely.

Don’t smile at me that way
–girl.
You took from me, I gave you
–the world.
It seems your love is the only
–cure.

Insanity is no fun
at all.
Growing up to be the man
I feared I’d always be,
living with
insanity.
My mental disease
contracted from
direct contact with you

Sometimes I want to say goodbye,
let these thoughts and feelings die.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why
I never can say goodbye.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not me.
There is someone else inside of me.
Sometimes I feel like I should be
somewhere else, so lonely.
Insanity.

Leave a comment

Filed under poems

Gone

My friend,
who’s an illusion.
My life,
trapped in confusion.
No one’s here.
Gone.

My friend,
just an illusion.
My life,
always losing
confidence.
Gone.

My friend,
you’re an illusion.
My life,
never choosing.
Unread script.
Gone.

My friend
is an illusion.
My life,
needing solution.
Everything,
gone.

Leave a comment

Filed under poems